Confidence is a mindset. These are five realizations to change the way you think and build confidence from within.
Have honest conversations about who you are as a person. Know yourself from the inside out. Understand your flaws and strengths, your likes and dislikes. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not and allow the true you to flourish. Find out what you want from this life, not what others or society wants from you. Be careful not to give in to the voice of fear. Don’t listen to the voice of self- doubt. You can’t do this, you’re not good enough, you don’t have enough skills, you’re not a good friend, blah blah blah. What is the truth? Counter those lies with true affirmations and behave like you believe it. Sit down in front of the mirror and have an honest conversation with yourself about every facet of your life. You lived this life, with all its ups and downs, all the joys, the secrets, the sorrows, the losses, the achievements. Your experience is unique to you. I don’t know your thoughts or your desires. I don’t know whether you would thrive better in cold environments or warm environments. I don’t know if you want the responsibility of being a parent or not. But you know. When you know who you are, other people’s opinions won’t waver your truth. Which brings me to the next part:
Stop believing others over yourself
People’s opinions are not the foundation for your life. Their validation is not necessary. You will run yourself into the ground trying to please others and believe everything they say. There are people who love to hate on you. They criticize the way you express yourself, they downplay your achievements, and they constantly discourage you. Do not believe them! Their words hurt. I know they do. The great thing is those nasty words are not the foundation for your life. You don’t need to internalize them! When someone calls you stupid (not in a joking manner) it may sting, but you will understand yourself enough to know you are intelligent. When someone says your artwork is ugly, and you have no talent, you won’t be fazed. The way you feel about it is above their opinion. Now, I’m aware friends, family members, or even teachers can know you well enough to speak about you, say what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. Sometimes parents know you better than you know yourself! That is why being honest with your reflection is important. You won’t need to depend on their perspective, you will have the right lenses on to see and assess yourself properly.
This includes being honest and believing the non-fear guided thoughts about yourself. Get to know your existence. Accept your flaws. Accept grace. Give yourself encouraging words and necessary pep talks. Denounce fear. Take care of your body, soul, and spirit. If possible, remove yourself from unhealthy situations and unhealthy attachments. Seek help when you need. Carrying all those burdens will break you down.
“Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Life is Temporary
Tomorrow is not guaranteed, neither is next year or the next fifty years. How do you want to spend the days of this existence? Life is way too short to spend it trying to please others while disappointing your reflection. Life is too short to not believe in yourself and use the gifts and passions God gave you. No one wants to look back and feel the pain of regret for not making certain life choices.
Bonus: God loves you!
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? Romans 8:35
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8: 38
Bible verses from biblegateway.com
Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash
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