There are times when we are bombarded with a multitude of opportunities and responsibilities. Sometimes it's hard to manage these things and incorporate them into our lives without running ourselves into the ground. We don't NEED to do everything or say yes to every opportunity that comes by, but sometimes it is difficult to say no. It's difficult to discern which things are most important and which can be done at a later date or not necessary at all. 

           Take a step back and look at what you have on your plate. In fact, write down everything you have to do. You will find that some things are necessary and probably not up for debate (work (unless you're quitting), class, family time). You will also find that there are things you can eliminate or move around if you can. If there is a event or workshop done on multiple days, switch the day(s) you go to accommodate another thing. Focus on your goals and how the opportunities and responsibilities can help you reach them. Focus on the quality of life you want. Always running around and not enjoying life? Or. Understanding your values and finding a balance. Don't forget about rest. Rest is very important to keep us energized and functioning properly. 
   
           In my last post, I discussed my goals for my last quarter at college. I wanted to have fun and focus on writing. Those were the biggest things. So far, I haven't had time to write! I have a lot of readings for class, meetings for my clubs, and an internship! This "relaxing" last quarter turned hectic in less than a week and it already reminds me of junior year. However, I had a lot of fun junior year. The point is, I'm going to have to cut some things out and/or manage my time in a more meticulous manner than I have before. My studying/note-taking habits are also adapting as well. I am a flexible person so it's possible, but that doesn't make it less difficult.

              All of these things are easier said than done, but not impossible.   

* Photo by Andres F. Uran on Unsplash

    It's my last year in college!
   
    I don't have any specific goals in mind, I just want to enjoy the last few months I have in school. I'm only taking three classes classes this quarter which I haven't done in five quarters (almost two years ago)! Because of this, I have more time to focus on writing projects and joining new clubs like fencing or trying out for a dance team. It's important not to be overwhelmed in any area of your life if you can help it. Coming form summer, I want to shift more focus onto my writing and finishing up projects that have sat on the back burner for years. One book in particular, Her War, looks like it will be the next completed book. Last summer I managed to create an outline for the story so writing has been breezy.

    Of course, I expect myself pay attention in class and take helpful notes for my readings so I can ace my classes again. Junior year was amazing and I ended it with almost straight A's. This quarter, I'm going to relax, do academically well while learning awesome topics, and do fun things I couldn't in earlier years. 

       Before we dive into the pros of a beta-reader, let's define this term first.

​    Bookwritingbusiness.com describes it as, "Beta readers are non-professionals who read a manuscript prior to publishing or read a pre-release of a book. If a beta reader is provided a manuscript they’re often asked to read for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. They may comment on parts of a story that are confusing or things that don’t make sense." In July 2017 I completed my novel, Our Father and since then I have edited it myself about four times. In the first week of September, I reached out to some people on Goodreads to become Beta-readers for Our Father. It's exciting to know someone else is going to read your story, but also nerve-racking because it special to me and I don't want them to think it sucks. We have the agreement of weekly updates so they will send me notes on the chapters they read. Right now I have two beta-readers, and two other ones that have fit me into their schedule for December. My first book, Illuminate my World was self-published with Createspace, but this time around I am going the traditional route.

       So why use beta-readers?

1. They are writers and/or readers themselves
2. They love to help
3. It is not costly (though some do charge)
4. It's an informal, more comfortable setting
5. Readily available

      Having fresh, willing eyes to read through your manuscript allows you to go back and fill any plot holes, add more description, or remove scenes that aren't necessary before sending off to publishing.

       I am also a Beta-reader for another writer, so that experience is very interesting. I try to say as much as I can so I can help the writer. Being honest even if it sounds a little harsh (but I try not to be harsh) is necessary. This is an important project for the writer, so taking it seriously is a must.

        I will give an update next month some of my betas get back to me.
​
*​Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

       Many people have a fear of public speaking whether it's in front of a crowd, or a classroom. I actually enjoy public speaking, but I do get nervous. Here are some tips to help you stay calm, cool, and collected while you are speaking in front of a lot of people.

       1. Find some enjoyment in your topic: If you're excited about something you want to share it so others can feel that excitement too. Your mood about the project, presentation, or speech will change. Even if you are just excited to show off the cool designs on the PowerPoint slides, it will help put that pep in your voice and give you something to focus on as you speak and present. For example, let's say you are presenting about the extinction of a certain type of animal. You might feel strongly about this subject after doing hours of research and you will want to convey that same energy during the presentation. So instead of feeling nervous, you feel determined to educate the audience on that topic and make sure they really understand why it's a problem. On the other hand, maybe you drew diagrams and pictures of the animal and they are the best pieces of art you have ever done. Showing those off will make you feel proud of the project and excited to share it with the audience.

      2. Note card with important points: Writing every single line you have to say on a note card can hurt more than help. Try to memorize the details of your topic so you're not stuck staring at the note card the whole time. In high school I believe most teachers will allow you to read off the note card or your slides, but in college if you have a presentation it's less likely. Make bullet points of the important points, then while you are speaking elaborate those points with more details.

      3. Scan the crowd or look above their heads/ spaces in between people: Making eye contact is tough for a lot of people whether during conversation, interviews, or a presentation. I suggest for class presentation or speeches, look over their heads or the spaces in between people's heads so it seems like you are making eye contact with various people. You can also scan through the crowd so your gaze doesn't have to settle on one person. I had a professor that would look at the wall behind us when he was speaking. It was weird but it worked for him.

    4. Remember why you are doing it and what you are getting from it: If this is for a grade, remember that! You need to do well enough to get that A+. This is motivation while you are up there presenting. If this is a work project, well it makes you look like a competent employee that really cares about that job. Educating the public is important too. Not everything needs an incentive and the mere fact that you are able to inform a group of people about a topic they may have no knowledge on is great. Their minds will be enriched... as long as your information is credible.

       5. It's only a few minutes of your live. Once it's over, you move on... until the next one:​ Sometimes when you're up there it feels like a lifetime. Those five minutes, ten minutes, or twenty minutes, feel like FOREVER. But I'm here to tell you, it's not. In fact, you may never remember those few minutes. *Poof* Gone like the wind. 

         Hope you enjoyed these five tips to keep you relaxed and focused while presenting in front of an audience.

*​Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Today is September 1st!

        Last month (aka yesterday :D) I laid out goals for each week. Some were for editing, writing for my books, setting up appointments, an assignment, etc. It helped me keep track of the things I needed to get done. It also held me accountable for completing each task by the end of the week. With my weekly goals, I had daily tasks from Sunday to Saturday except for the first week, because I started on August 1st, a Wednesday. Each week I also worked on a specific book of mine, and read books I had been harboring for months!.

       August 1st to August 4th:  This week the book I was read was Wraith by Phaedra Weldon. I edited my completed story Our Father. It's about a young woman named Robyn being stalked by her childhood best friend who ends up kidnapping and taking Robyn to her estranged father. I finalized a dance choreography that was inspired by another dance video. I wrote a blog post for the next week, submitted to literary magazines, did an outline for my assignment, and memorized two bible verses.

          August 12th to August 18th: This week the book I was read was The Sound of Butterflies by Rachael King. This week was fun in terms of writing for The Other Side of the Mirror. This story is about a young woman dealing with alopecia and discovering she is adopted. She then travels to Madagascar to find her biological parents, but instead finds love, and becomes Queen of Fleur Fanjakana. Rather than Volana feeling happy and free, she feels stuck and lost after not finding her parents, and gaining new responsibilities as a Queen. Whew, that was long. World building was necessary for this story because even though it takes place in real countries, the way things are set up are not the same. It's a modern setting with some futuristic elements. The politics and landscape are different too. It was a bit of a headache, but my connection with this main character is much stronger than with Mai from Being a Model. 

            I planned a video for Skillshare (a platform for watching online classes on various subjects you may be interested in like writing, technology, business, etc) about making a writing schedule. Recording wasn't difficult but finding a video editor was. The ones I found were terrible. I also submited to another literary magazine and made a dentist appointment.

          August 19th to August 25th: I wasn't done reading the book from last week so it rolled into this week. I did another round of editing for Our Father which went by quicker. This week's story was Her War. It's set during the future during a third world war. No one know what it's really about. A group of people trying to figure out what the war is about band together to search for a photojournalist who was also looking for a reason for the war before he disappeared. This story was fun and easier to write for because last summer I created a complete outline. It's not detailed, just important scenes that need to happen. I hung up two posters on my wall, submitted to another literary magazine, went to my dentist appointment, walked around downtown taking pictures and wrote at a coffee shop. 

           August 26th to August 31st: Last week of August! No reading this week, still trying to get over The Sound of Butterflies before diving into another novel. I made another outline for 16 years ago​, the story I wrote for Nanowrimo. This one is about a man who believes his sister that died 16 years has reincarnated into 16 year old Christy due to some resemblances in appearance and personality. I also worked on my posters, this blog post, and found a couple books on reincarnation at the library.

      “How do you know it’s impossible, if you don’t try?”

​     Sometimes we get really stuck in the same box, the same comfort zone for a long time. The habits we've created have grown and matured. It's important to keep learning new skills. You can start by watching tutorials on YouTube, taking classes, or just trying it without help. Stop being afraid to take a different track than the one you go on every single day.

1. Find a new store to shop at.
2. Read a new genre.
3. Eat from a different culture.
4. Take a walk in the mornings.
5. Go to an open mic night.
6. Find another coffee shop.
7. Take a road trip.
8. Paint something.

      These things don't have to be scary or drastic. See experiences as a part of life and change. This summer the new things I'm trying are dabbling in photography, some music composition, and creating choreography. Dancing isn't a hundred percent new to me, but I don't do it often at all so it counts!

     You may think, "I'm good here." No! Do not get comfortable, because life will hit you with a flaming fast ball out of nowhere. I encourage you, yes YOU to try something new and discover another fun thing. The world is too vast to stay in a four by four. Continue to expand, even by little measures. Maybe one day someone will need help decorating their living room and because you've been watching interior design videos on YouTube, you have insight (maybe). Say your friend is having a party and wants to bake a really cool cake, but doesn't know how. Thankfully, you've been taking baking classes and can help her. These examples sound far-fetched, but I hope the message still got through. I'm not saying do it for others, you could be in those predicaments. Doing something you haven't done brings a new kind of excitement because it's not what you're used to.

      So please try something new and encourage others to do so as well!


*Photo by Patrick Boucher on Unsplash

​Studying abroad in Brazil was only part of my summer. 

So, what am I doing for the next month and a halfish before going back to school? A LOT. I finished the second round of editing for my novel Our Father  which means I will be reaching out to Beta Readers soon. I'm also working on my other novels Being a Model, Her War, The Other Side of the Mirror, and A Grave of Dead Roses. In between writing, I am delving in photography music, and dance (follow me on Instagram to see @abbyakyiaw). This doesn't sound like much, but it takes up a lot of time. Everyday there's a list of things I need to accomplish, a certain about of words to write, etc. And of course writing for this blog! More interesting and helpful topics coming your way like public speaking, traveling again, going to therapy, and many more.

This past month I learned some exciting things in another country. I ate new food, interacted with a new culture, and shared these experiences with nine other students in my group. Of course, nothing is without its faults. This trip had its ups and downs, but overall I enjoyed living in Brazil and learning about the Black experience there. I won't sugarcoat anything in this overview, but I also will not bash the program or the coordinators. They did their best in the context that they were in. First, I will talk about aspects of the program that I enjoyed. Second, I will talk about things that bothered me during the trip. Finally, I will discuss things that could be improved on.

What I Enjoyed

Environment: So the weather was very humid and warm. I'm all for some humidity, but this was a little too much. Only a few times was it actually cold. I could wear whatever I wanted, though most of the time I still wore pants. Coming from the airport and settling in our apartment in Copacabana, I realized Rio reminded me of a city inside a jungle. There were luscious green trees planted along the sidewalks, swaying above us with the buildings. I also liked how there shops lined down the streets close to where we lived. The supermarket and the metro were a short walk away.

Fast food/ Tapioca: Okay, let me tell you something. The fast food in Rio was a hundred times better than here in the U.S. (my opinion). Over there, places like McDonald's, Burger King, and KFC, are a lot more pricey, but the quality of food is great. A McChicken from McDonald's in the U.S. is flat and sad looking. In Rio? It's fresh, and ready to be eaten. Now, I am someone that doesn't eat fast food often, but I allowed myself to divulge in Brazil because 1) It tasted better 2) I won't have this luxury back home so I might as well enjoy. So, Tapioca is a bit difficult to explain. It's like a folded sandwich with various things you can have inside like chicken, ham, cheese, butter, coconut, chocolate, banana, etc. The first one I got was chicken and coconut, but I didn't like it too much because it was dry. The second time I got butter and chicken. That was delicious.

​Little trips: We went to Sugarloaf Mountain, The botanical garden, flea markets, restaurants, an eight-story mall, walked fifteen minutes to Starbucks, and played at the park across the street! Our free time turned into fun adventures.

My group members: I don't know if any other group would have made this trip better, because the students I went with were super cool. They each had a unique personality and we got along so well. In the beginning I thought there would be cliques within our small ten person group, but we all connected with each other. We had such great moments and I felt comfortable with them, which was a surprise. 

Class: The most thought provoking part of the trip! We learned so much in five weeks and I will elaborate on some of the topics in the Review and Reflect part of my blog every Wednesday.

Things that Bothered Me

Too many people on the sidewalk!: Wow... I could barely enjoy walking down the street due to the amount of pedestrians coming towards me. The sidewalks are wide, but clearly not wide enough for the people walking and street vendors situated.

Translation during class/vibes: Many of the Brazilian students did not speak English or understand it very well, including the speakers we had. Before we arrived in Brazil, we were told they had to know English to be enrolled so we came with that expectation, but that's not what happened. Sometimes students were so deep in discussion with the speakers it didn't give time for translations. That made it hard to follow along or jump in because it went from one topic to another. Sometimes someone would speak passionately for a long time in Portuguese then their translation would be super short and you could tell what they translated did not include all they said. Now with vibes. The class felt divided. We couldn't relate/connect with the Brazilian students, many of them were not as open as we thought they would be. There were a handful of welcoming students, don't get me wrong, but every class felt like an us vs. them battle.

Using matches: The stove and oven in the hotel was gas-based and we had to use matches to turn them on. I was kinda scared, but then again it wasn't that big of a deal after like a week.

Disorganization throughout the program: We didn't receive a syllabus until the second week of the program, they sent us the readings a night before the second class, and our discussion sections/language class didn't have a set date/time. They wanted this program to be flexible, but it didn't come off that way. It seemed like things were not organized which it hard for me to have a student mindset when the structure is unstable. A lot of information given to us were not clarified until almost the middle of the program.

Things to Improve On

Realistic expectations for American and Brazilian students

Transportation costs to and from class and when we meet with the activists

List of cool things to do/go

Organized class/section schedules

Thursday

This day we met with another activist who runs one of eight community centers for young kids in favelas (slums) or in poorer neighborhoods. They teach them about technology, sports, reading, arts and crafts and they even take them on field trips! It was great hearing about the work they do catering the young people so that they can gain skills and have fun.

Friday

I skipped out on going to see the Christ the Redeemer because I wasn't interested. Later that night we went to a city called Lapa which is big on nightlife. The city was alive that night! We danced for two hours and it was the first time since prom where I had fun dancing this much.

​Saturday

We had another activist meeting at a building called the ship of knowledge where young children come to learn about how to use computers, coding, and other technology related lessons. Flavia was our dance workshop leader and her group taught us about a traditional Afro-Brazilian dance called Jongo derived from the Bantu people in Africa. She told us the history of Jongo during slavery in Brazil and how black people would practice variations of this dance. It was also a way to communicate with each other. We gathered in a circle and Flavia taught us different movements that we eventually put together. We broke out a bit of a sweat. 

Sunday

Just like last Sunday went back to the hippie fair/market even though it was slightly sprinkling and gloomy. I was only planning on getting one more postcard, but I ended up with a few more goodies. Things I bought: Postcard with a Brazil game, a colorful bracelet, a purple coin purse dedicated to the 2016 Olympics hosted by Brazil, and a rock my friend got me.

Afterwards we ate DELICIOUS nachos at a Mexican restaurant and the owner is from Socal!

Monday

Today's class was different. There was a documentary by Ana Flauzina, -a well-known activist in Brazil- shown in the morning around 10am. The basis of the

We discussed the film, had lunch and then regular lecture with Ana about her book which discussed love, racism, blackness, and inner struggles. It was like a compilation of different stories told from various points of view.

Tuesday

This was a chill day. I worked on this post and my presentation for class on one of the activist sessions. I chose the one on Jongo because it was really interesting and we could show a video in class.

Later that night, three of us went to a sushi restaurant and it was delicious! I've had sushi before, but this night I tried raw fish and I actually enjoyed it.

​Wednesday

Last day of class! During class we did our presentations, completed evaluations for the program, had a guest speaker from Finland, and finally a little party. It was a little bittersweet -more sweet than bitter I was ready to come home.

Thursday

A few people in my group got tattoos, so we stayed in the shop for hours. Then we had our last potluck.

Friday

We packed in morning until two because we had to move into another room for the night.

Saturday

Our flight got delayed!! Instead of leaving at 9pm it was moved to 2am.

Sunday

Arrived at 4pm. So glad to be back! I will post an overview of the trip next week so watch out for that. 

Olá!

July 11th to July 18th

Wednesday

Our group went to the Jardim do Botânico and walked around taking pictures for hours. It was a beautiful place. There were so many trees, streams, birds chirping, and a lake with fish in it. I enjoyed the scenic view. It's a place where I could sit down and read or write. Some plants were very different, but still spectacular. We climbed up stone steps with moss on them, and took many pictures of spiders! We didn't see all the botanical garden had to offer unfortunately, but maybe we'll visit again.  

Thursday

Discussion section in the morning then class 

Friday

We met with an activist in a city that was pretty far. Our trip consisted of the subway, a train, and a bus. Her name is Flavia and she is a spiritual leader for an Afro-Brazilian indigenous religion. The place was named House of Forgiveness. Flavia is an advocate for religious rights and women's rights. She feeds people in her community that are struggling and is running for a position in Federal Congress!​

Saturday

My roommate and I walked to a currency exchange store because we ran out of Brazilian Real.

Afterwards we shopped at a grocery store that resembled Wholefoods. I found peanut butter, almond milk, granola, wannabe pringles, and tortilla chips!

I cooked coconut rice, chicken, and fries. I've never tried coconut rice before and I was nervous when cooking because I wasn't sure if I would like it or not Thankfully everything tasted delicious.

Sunday 

This day was an adventure. Our group went to a hippie festival to buy goodies for ourselves and people back home. They had bags (fanny packs, backpacks, purses, handbags,etc), shoes, headscarves, and lots jewelry and crystals! There were many different booths. I bought a crystal necklace, a notebook, two postcards, and a shot glass. My mind was conflicted because I wanted to buy a straw woven purse (keep in mind I do not use purses) but it was a bit expensive.

Monday

Class at one. Our professor discussed parallels between the US and Brazil surrounding the history of black people and how anti-blackness affects people's perceptions, mass incarceration, etc. It creates the notion of nonblack vs. black instead of the black vs. white model.

Tuesday

​This day was an adventure, we walked A LOT. On our way to the famous Escadaria Selaron we through a park and saw ducks that resembled swans. They were bigger than any ducks I've ever seen. Once we reached the stairs it was PACKED. I mean we were bumping into folks while trying to take pictures and go up the stairs. The artwork was stunning and I saw a Ghana flag. That was cool.

Afterwards we walked about 20 minues to the Museum of Tomorrow, but it was too late for us to enter. Tickets sold out. Instead, we walked around and took pictures by the water as the sun was setting. Finally we got on the metro and headed to a mall in another city to eat dinner.

Wednesday

Class at one again. Our speaker went over the deciding factors for what makes one issue a social problem that lawmakers will focus on compared to another issue. Also why at certain points in time a particular issue is more prevalent, loses its support then becomes a problem later. For example let's say public transportation is a really important issue right now but in 4 years it won't be, then four years after that it becomes an issue again. She gave models and diagrams on the process. I enjoyed it.