That’s what it’s all about
Broken in half
And taken out
Every day is
A black out
Faded and burned
I have drifted
And been torn
Little pieces scattered about
And in doubt
How long until this ends?
When shall I be put together again?
Can I be stitched, and sewn?
Mended and grown?
I cannot feel
But yet I know.
I cannot show,
But yet I appeal…
To the broken dark souls,
Hiding, waiting, infatuating,
The day I give up and
Let them drag me away.
Tears burn away my bravery
The saltiness stings the last
Piece of dignity I have left...
Why do emotions hurt me so
Why do I allow the thorns to grow...
There's a lump in my throat
That grows with every thought
My heart pumps to a solemn beat
Why does the truth not taint the lips
Why do lies write the scripts...
Curses be Mother Sadness
Curses be Father Madness
Sadly a new day has closed
Maybe an old one shall open
Door stoppers break legs
And fresh faces always fade
Take it away
Bring it in
Switch the brakes
Fix the gear.
I wish yesterday was tomorrow
So I could be a psychic
Don’t you wish you had your way?
Don’t you wish you knew what was behind door number 2?
Be human and fight the dragons
Keep swimming to the finish line
Don’t hold me back with your fears
Just stay afloat.
Just stay afloat
If you drown you’ll be gone
Just stay afloat
Just stay afloat.
Keep breathing for me they say.
What about me?
No let’s not finish that sentence, it’s too gruesome.
It’s too sad.
The words I use do not have the same meaning
As they would for everyone else
Only I understand.
No one cares to care.
See? That doesn’t exactly mean what it means.
Stop being a surface feeder.
Catch a feeling
Throw a fit
Those sad faces of humanity trace the outline of earth tainted with lost poison, half a land filled with disdain, sound proof walls to disprove the infiltration of rescue.
Help me help myself. I’m lost in this void of dust floating like the rest of life just running off with my happiness and achievements leaving me with the scorching part gripping my nerves. It’s like a shock of lava. My veins filling up with torture, oh just torch me now and end this misery I’m living in.
Each breath burns the living out of my throat as if I was drinking boiling water. HA! The heated poison of rejection kills my lungs. Draws out the truth and gets stuck on purpose, clinging to my life. Mine and mine alone, but yet it has taken a hold, grip, gripe, and snatch, snitch, dip in a pool of lemons and ice, but no relief for the hate. I hate that they love to hate me. I hate how they pretend to care.
I hate how they’re supposed to care, but they don’t.
IF LOVE WAS A CRIME
He’s always watching.
I feel his eyes bearing into my secrets. The expression emitting from his pores: He is suspicious of me. I’m the person of interest. Each time is just a slight glance, a split second glimpse taking a piece of me to investigate. My every move is under scrutiny. He barely speaks. Barely interacts. But.
Always. Watching. ME.
I feel- I am exposed. Strapped to an examination table. Secrets written in silver pouring out of my skin under his watchful care. He wants me to think I’m crazy, but I’m not. I know what I know. He’s subtle. Handsomely subtle. I’m too alarmed to confront. Too intrigued by his inquiry. Maybe even flattered. For once, I am the suspect. Sometimes I think he knows, but won’t say anything. Every time my presence is made, his silence is donned. I don’t know what this is, unless someone has whispered my name into the swirls of his ear. Unless a certain someone has hired him to tail me.
But there’s they don’t know.
I’m a black widow with many webs, intricately designed to thwart wanderers like you. My poison injected into your veins will dry out your ambition.
So go ahead Detective Comics, try and catch me.
That’s what I am, what I’ve become
Oh how long have I been confused?
My thoughts heavy, my heart just numb
There’s nothing worse than being bruised
Left out in the cold, nowhere to go
I thought you cared, I thought I mattered
Well now I know
Now I’m crestfallen and tattered.
It's dark and scary out here
With strangers walking around
They kick me aside and sneer
For days I've been waiting to be found
People say that dolls aren’t real
That we have no thoughts or heart
You thought that I couldn't feel
And now we’re torn apart.
Where were you when I called out?
Nowhere to be found that’s where
How disgraced I feel, all washed out
It’s a horrible feeling aren’t you aware!
How did this become?
When did it begin?
I thought I always saved you from being glum
Your favorite because I always made you grin.
You said you loved me
But I guess you lied
Does my pain give you glee?
I wonder does my happiness make you cry.
Amy said she’d never leave me
But she grew older and did just that.
She was going to college you see,
With that hideous boy Matt.
Long story short,
She threw me out like a wart.
That’s what I am, and what I always will be.
Dear future self,
I hope you’re happy
Living the luxury of life you want.
May your smiles be broader,
And your eyes brighter.
I hope you found help
For all the bad experiences that tormented you
May your days be filled with joy,
And your voice rasped with laughter
I hope you have your dream job
Saving lives even though you could barely save your own.
May your heart be whole,
And your ears happy to listen
I hope your knight in shining armor rescued you
From all those terrible voices in your head.
May your thoughts be kind,
And your conscience clear.
I hope your world is at peace
From the better decisions you might have made.
May your steps be lighter
And your days longer.
We always ask why, but never search for the answers because we’re scared of the truth hitting us. Losing our pride and demeaning our ego.
We try so hard to make x+z equal something when we know it never will. You can’t get to z from x without passing through y.
I thought everything was okay until I saw you. My world shattered. The fumes tumbled out my mouth like acid reflux, spilling over my lips. I cried from the inside and tried to crawl over the spikes glinting towards my helpless self. I can’t hide when I want to. I have to be seen by all.
Don’t allow your face to betray you. Don’t show emotions.
Weakness is only an inch away. Flakes flicker light as your irises twist and stretch. In and out they pull, dragging, luring me into the dark abyss. A trap waits in the glorious dungeon of pupils staring into my own wide ones. What I want to see is not reflected in what is before me. A disgusting lump of fiction clothed in desire, truth, and satisfaction.
Bruised from the left common carotid to the apex from the sharp blows of your fantasy. They left purple patches as a reminder to never look through a cracked mirror.
Anos and Non always sat in the front a seat empty between them. Non had a girlfriend, but Anos, might have been single. They seemed perfect for each other. Strangers, but companions in a sense. They held the royal court in CRWT 045. No one knew it but me, the creep two rows behind. Spikes and tattoos, a shave to the side and a shave to the back, they complimented each other in a way only my twisted mind could see. There was a loss, but there was also something to gain. If only they could feel what I see, a delicious mesh of two seemingly perfect people to make one. Anos and Non. Non and Anos.