Empty sighs cries a why after every sentence
Pennance they say. Repent and you'll be free. But these words are empty, unfulfilling, unwilling to face the truth. I'm too broken to breathe. Too broken to leave. A mess on the floor. A hole through the door. Everyone gone. Flown out. Free. But the glue that holds me down is stronger than any ounce of courage I have.
Too broken to breathe. Too broken to leave.
With no sound
Nothing around to grab a hold of
To save me from going under.
It's getting dark
Until there's no more light to see.
Anos and Non always sat in the front a seat empty between them. Non had a girlfriend, but Anos, might have been single. They seemed perfect for each other. Strangers, but companions in a sense. They held the royal court in CRWT 045. No one knew it but me, the creep two rows behind. Spikes and tattoos, a shave to the side and a shave to the back, they complimented each other in a way only my twisted mind could see. There was a loss, but there was also something to gain. If only they could feel what I see, a delicious mesh of two seemingly perfect people to make one. Anos and Non. Non and Anos.
Change is just a friend of fear, a sister to self-consciousness, a cousin to awareness, and the child of time. The clock ticks to your demise. Nine months to be born, a hundred years to die, unless you fall out of the race early at fifty-four. What do you do with fifty-four or hundred years? What can you do? Shame flies around for the chance to bite and inject embarrassment into your face, red blood flowing tainted with the poison. Change is a child of time. Spare change sleeps in the dark crevices of your couch, pocket, purse, floorboards, or bed. It lurks until needed and found. To be used at the cashier’s counter, as shame bites again. Why does it matter, isn’t still money? Spare this penny a lost future, and use it to buy a burger. Keep the dollar. Let’s try this again. Spare change leads to:
Fear of embarrassment
Awareness of the line you’re holding up
Time being consumed by the digging and counting
Change leads to:
So what’s the difference between Change, and Spare change?
A mouth that won’t speak
A heart that can’t beat
A mind that can’t think
A soul that only weeps
And a spirit trying to rejoice.
I latch on to something real, only to have it dissipate into the chilly air. A thread skips through the knots of my fingers, slithering across the hills of knuckles and finding refuge in the burning rays. What I grasped is gone. Losing sight of reality turns dire when the sun peeks over the horizon, sliding its way over the moon. Who knew the radiance of light could kill a bond I shared. It severed a link. The light kills as bad as the night.
How much can the body take before the shivers shut it down?
The body moves like a crushed snail.
Where is the blazing fire ball from space? Where hast thou gone?
There’s no escaping the powerful tune of
59. 58, 57…
As the countdown to shutdown screams bloody murder in its intestines.
Where is the blazing fire to kill the frozen bumps biting pure flesh?
40, 39, 38.
Internal organs turn to ice cubes, turn to glaciers.
The fire in the sky glances at the body, then hides
Behind the sad puffs in the sky.
The body is beyond healing, the body is dying an internal freezing death!
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Poof the body disappears like a speck of dust caught in the cold stabbing wind.
Only the phalanges of the right hand, clutching a red lead pencil remain.
Why am I, it, they, shunned by the beauty of sunlight, for it runs and hides
Like we’re playing a game of hide and seek.
Does the sun think me a friend? Or foe?
Foe I believe, because it let the body die.
Oh yes the sun kills with a stab of ice, and a clogging of heat.
Beware of the white blaze, it will put you to shame, put you in a grave
With the others.
I turned around to find a friend
I turned around to the end
Solid ground floats away from me
I called out to the sky
Because she never said bye
Cancel the dreams
Undo the seams
She has gone and left me here
Unraveled and unclothed without my friend
Is this the end?
That’s what it’s all about
Broken in half
And taken out
Every day is
A black out
Faded and burned
I have drifted
And been torn
Little pieces scattered about
And in doubt
How long until this ends?
When shall I be put together again?
Can I be stitched, and sewn?
Mended and grown?
I cannot feel
But yet I know.
I cannot show,
But yet I appeal…
To the broken dark souls,
Hiding, waiting, infatuating,
The day I give up and
Let them drag me away.
Tears burn away my bravery
The saltiness stings the last
Piece of dignity I have left...
Why do emotions hurt me so
Why do I allow the thorns to grow...
There's a lump in my throat
That grows with every thought
My heart pumps to a solemn beat
Why does the truth not taint the lips
Why do lies write the scripts...
Curses be Mother Sadness
Curses be Father Madness